For those of you who don't know, the City of Toronto has sold space on bus shelters, garbage cans, and (most egregiously) on sidewalks to advertisers - the so called Info Pillars. They look like this:
They don't seem so bad out of context - in the infinite white space. But on sidewalks, where space is definitely not infinite, they look like this:
Which is very amusing and pissed the City and Astral off quite a bit. So cheers to them. But no matter how entertaining some of the busts were (and I recommend checking the gallery at the cARTography site because some of them are really good) it doesn't change the fact these Info Pillars (and, quibbling here, they are neither informative nor pillars) are ugly, dangerous, and a nasty concession to the corporations who believe that everything is for sale - including public space.
So, how would one destroy them? The obvious answer is a cutting torch. An ac/ox torch would go through one of them in about ten seconds but there are a couple drawbacks. First, you would almost certainly get caught since running with a cutting torch is neither feasible nor a good safety practice. And second, they could just slap a new IP on the remains of the previous one.
I would also not recommend hitching a chain to the frame of your car or truck and yanking them out like rotten teeth. While this might offer a more permanent solution than cutting the IP in pieces, it is very likely to mess up your car.
Here is what I've come up with and I have to say, I'm not recommending it. This is a thought exercise only and if anyone does this and says I told them to, I'll deny every word. If I am breaking any laws just by writing this then the situation is too far gone to be fixed and every person for themselves.
The trillium is Ontario's official flower but, contrary to popular belief, it is not illegal to pick them except in national parks and other conservation zones. It is illegal to pick the Drooping Trillium (Trillium flexipis). Here's what a drooping trillium looks like:
To get rid of an Astral Info Pillar correctly takes at least four people and as many Drooping Trilliums. First, you need to go after the concrete the IP is standing on. That's how it is supported. Anyone who has ever built a fence or a deck knows how this works. The concrete goes down and the base for the IP (or fence post) goes in while the concrete is still wet. If I was recommending a method (which I'm not) I would say 6' pry bars, picks, and shovels would be the tools of choice. Half the people pulling on the top of the IP - some mechanical assistance would be good here, like a winch on an off-road vehicle. The rest get the pry bars into the ground and start working the concrete foundation free. Don't underestimate the amount of force needed. These things are likely engineered to bend but not break in the event a car hits them, for the safety of pedestrians, but the foundations were designed to stay. You could also think about renting a jack-hammer if you are really determined.
After you get the IP out of the ground, fill the space left in the hole with high quality top soil. Then plant your Drooping Trilliums according to the instructions of someone who understands plants better than I do.
Another warning, since it's illegal to pick drooping trilliums, make sure to keep your receipt! That way you can prove you purchased them and didn't pick them yourself.
Of course, an equally effective strategy would be to go after the sidewalk between the building and the IP. It's going to be thinner and less heavy than the foundation of the IP. Smash it up, remove it, and plant the DTs all the way from the IP to the storefront - completely blocking the sidewalk. Then get some lawn chairs, sleeping bags (depending on the season), and a copy of the legislation protecting the DTs and wait.
I like the latter solution as it presents the City with a decision you can exploit - does it destroy an ugly and unpopular IP or rip up a bunch of (legally protected) flowers? Good copy either way.
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