On HBO

HBO has all be the tv. They also have all the best opening titles. My friend Bill got me started watching True Detective. What makes them true? I have no idea but two episodes and I'm already hooked. Watch it just for the opening titles which, like True Blood, are about seven minutes long. About the "true" thing. True Blood makes sense - it's part of the series - but unless HBO already has a show called Fictional Detective I think they could have come up with a better name. Like More Completely Fucked Up Shit (possibly involving Satan) in Louisiana.

The problem with all HBO series is the episodes come so fucking slowly. I don't mean the pace of the shows is slow (although that's certainly true of True Detective) but that you have to wait for episodes forever. I guess making good tv shows really does take longer than making bad ones. Or maybe HBO has paid researchers to figure out precisely how to make shows addictive. Probably both.

The glacial (even tectonic) pace of Game of Thrones is all too typical. I'm sure part of that is the fear if they release more than ten episodes a year they will catch up with George RR Martin. The world's slowest writer is probably in the middle of writing another sixty page description of a meal and that's the kind of thing that can delay a book for years. Even decades. Or in Martin's case, centuries. I think someone should start a pool for the release date of Martin's next book. I would take July, 2019.

I wonder why more networks aren't looking at HBO and thinking, "Hey, that could be us!" If I owned a network (I don't even own a television so this isn't something I need to worry about with any real immediacy but still, I worry) I would want it to be like HBO. I wonder if it is more expensive per year to make shows that cost more individually? Game of Thrones films in Iceland and all over the place, plus they have all the sets and costumes and dragons (which probably aren't cheap). True Blood doesn't look like an expensive show to make. It's a nice looking show. High quality. But not garishly, ostentatiously expensive. True Detective looks like the 90s. I don't think that could be very expensive. Maybe having movie stars ups the budget. What would I know.

Part of the reason the wait for new episodes of HBO shows feels like it takes forever is the rest of tv is so disappointing. Person of Interest used to be interesting, now it's pretty lame. They couldn't resist the "make it bigger" trap. They added a plot that spanned a whole season about corrupt cops and when that was through, had to find an even bigger "enemy" for the good guys to fight. So they did. And then an even bigger one and a bigger one after that. Pretty soon three people and a dog are going to be taking on an extra-terrestrial armada of warships (without anyone noticing).

Elementary is on hiatus, as are Grey's Anatomy, True Blood, Sherlock (after a complete let-down of a third season), even Top Gear. So I will impatiently wait for the next episode of True Detective while I worry about all the reasons I am unqualified to run a major television network.