On Doctors

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I work on schools. Pre-K to 12 - I do it all. And here's the thing about working on schools: you can design the most beautiful school in history, one all your friends and associates and architecture students and architecture critics and magazines love, and it could be so good that every student who goes there wins a Nobel prize and you can bring it in for $8 a square foot and have everyone in the world think you are the greatest genius to design a building since Mies van der Rohe and F. L. Wright knocked each other up BUT if it isn't ready on the first Monday in September your clients will hate you. So from May 24 to Labor Day I work 12 plus hours a day, 7 days a week. Which means, like a dumb ass, I let my prescriptions run out.

I'm not going to list the medications I'm on. It's not your business. If you really want to know I'll give you a hint: I've talked previously about the problems lazy people have in a world that doesn't understand laziness is a medical condition. Seriously, mind your own business. Anyway,

My doctor will see you as a walk in if you don't have an appointment. But you have to wait. Typically the wait is about an hour. Today it was more than two. And when I finally get in to see him he expects me to feel bad about how long the wait was but he expects me to feel bad for him. He kept saying, "You think you're busy!" I thought that was funny. Brightened up an otherwise kind of shitty Monday.

Sometimes I wonder about doctors. I think spending your working life having to deal with people who have real problems like cancer or leprosy or some other nasty shit really fucks with your sense of proportion.

I have terrible skin. No kidding. It is like having the worst dandruff in history but all over my body. I also have the worst dandruff in history. It is embarrassing as hell and I'm very self-conscious about it. So I'm writing about it on the internet because that makes sense. I've tried everything I ever read about and everything I could think of to fix it. Nothing worked. If you aren't from Canada you probably think our socialized medical care is great (and it is) but try getting an appointment with a dermatologist if you live in a small town. You can hang it up. It's not going to happen. So when I moved to Toronto, I finally got an appointment to see one. And she told me, "It's dry skin. Live with it. Some people have real problems."

Which is true. But also, fuck her.

And when I was unemployed (long story) I got depressed. So I went to see a psychiatrist. Here is our conversation - slightly condensed:

Me: I'm depressed.
Dr: Why do you think you are depressed?
Me: Because I'm depressed.
Dr: What are your symptoms?
Me: Depression.
Dr: You sound like you are suffering from depression.
Me: Really?
Dr: You should take these pills.
Me: What are the side effects?
Dr: In some cases they cause depression.
Me: How often?
Dr: It's rare.
Me: More rare than clinical depression?
Dr: Clinical depression occurs in about 5% of people.
Me: And how often does the drug cause depression?
Dr: About 5% of the time.
Me:[laughing]
Dr: Are you feeling better?

He helped me about as much as the dermatologist but at least he had a sense of humour.