On Hamlet and Lear

This morning I heard a host on the CBC call Lear "Shakespeare's greatest tragedy" and I thought, that guy has kids. It seems simple. Young people (those who read Shakespeare anyway) think Hamlet is Shakespeare's best tragedy because youth is betrayed by age. Adults, and particularly parents, think the same about Lear because age is betrayed by youth.

Personally, I prefer Hamlet. And no, I'm not a parent. I've never understood Lear. I mean, I know what it's about and I get the point of it but I've never felt the same admiration for it as I do for Hamlet. I have a certain admiration for the resourcefulness required to fix the tragedy (in the sense of making it dramatically and logically necessary) in the very first act. But I always thought if you want your children to treat you well in your old age, don't give them names that sound like venereal diseases. Lear didn't fuck himself when he decided to make his children compete for his kingdom with protestations of love; he fucked himself when he decided Goneril was a good name for a girl. Regan is okay as a name but not as a character (she's a fucking bitch). Maybe her middle name was Syphilis. But obviously Cordelia is going to be the one who doesn't harbour intense revenge fantasies. Lear could have died happily in his bed surrounded by loving children and grandkids if he thought, "Should I call her Goneril or Lily? Hmmm, I think Lily."

Since my brother had kids I started paying more attention to parenting advice columns and I noticed a couple things. First, very few people tell you not to give your kid some strange fucking name you thought of when you were high (like Goneril or Titus or Gustave). I suppose Gustave is okay if you speak French. Second, parents all seem to believe their kids are little human time-bombs. Everyone is terrified of messing their kids up.

I sometimes wonder how difficult it is to really fuck a kid up? It must be hard. The only way I can think of would be if you either viciously mistreat them or completely ignore them. I guess cruelly and publicly criticizing everything they do would probably work too. And if you do that, you are so seriously fucked yourself it's more like the kid's grandparents are fucking them up - grandparent fucks up parent fucks up kid, therefore grandparent fucks up kid. If you aren't seriously emotionally damaged, a irredeemably vile person, or labouring under a crippling addiction your kids should be fine.

I think about it this way. Two or three generations ago it was not only okay to beat the fuck out of your kids, it was kind of expected. I'm sure my grandparents were (by many reckonings) good people but they didn't raise their kids in a way anyone would consider acceptable today. And my parents are good people and good parents. My brother is an excellent parent and his wife is even better. That's not me being blind about the failings of my own family either. They have an adult kid who is one of the nicest, level headed, and well-adjusted people I know. On the whole, it seems to me like it's harder to completely fuck kids up than most parents fear.

Of course, if I'm being fair, I have to add I have no inclination to listen to people talk about the shit their parents did to them. Unless your parents either completely neglected you, savagely beat you, or left you to be raised by a wolf pack I think you have an obligation to settle your own shit by the age of 25. If you don't. That's fine but it's your problem - don't blame your parents and don't tell me about it.